I Am A Legendary Barber Who Is The Best Guitar Hero In The Galaxy

Mindless Self Entertainment
By James del Rosario

Disclosure: The following are solely opinions. I’ll give you facts about the movie/game to help you decide whether or not to see/play it, but the ratings are just my own thoughts. Please do not call me in the middle of the night threatening my life because you felt Halo 3 should’ve gotten a perfect score instead of 450.

I Am Legend (movie on DVD, rated PG-13)

For all who thought Will Smith had been in them all: animated comedy, action, romantic comedy, serio-drama, sci-fi action with robots, and sci-fi action with aliens, be prepared to see him fighting zombies! Or not. Okay, he’s avoiding the zombies. Until he chases his dog into a dark abandoned… well, they were never clear as to what that building was. There’s a lot of scenes with him doing just nothing, and there really isn’t that much action until the last thirty-five minutes. But it’s still a great movie.
3 ½ out of 5 ticket stubs


Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (movie on DVD, rated R)

Never thought I’d see the day when a mass murderer would have a musical. Anyone prepared to see “Jack the Singing Ripper” next? A guy uses his barber-ing skills to get revenge against a man who wronged him. It’s gory as only Tim Burton can provide gore, as artsy as he possibly can. The songs are catchy, but many of them remind of, well, other songs in the same movie. And why is half the cast of Harry Potter here without Daniel Radcliffe? To commemorate this occasion that Johnny Depp can sing:
4 out of 5 ticket stubs


Super Mario Galaxy (game for the Wii, rated T)

Wow. Princess Peach has been kidnapped. Yep, just like every other Mario game in the history of the universe. Okay, so it doesn’t have much of a story. Where’s the surprise there? The graphics are adequate, the game play and physics are top-notch. Only two qualms: swimming sucks. I’m biased because I’ve always despised underwater levels, but still. And why would you give us a million lives just to take them away when we turn off the game? The magic we all experienced when we saw the Nintendo icon in 3D for the first time can’t ever be recreated, but Galaxy comes pretty darn close.
475 out of 500 HP


Guitar Hero III (game for the XBox360, rated M)

Ah, yes, another Guitar Hero. As with any music game, the review begins and ends with the soundtrack. Thankfully, they’ve got plenty of “tight leather jeans” songs to rock out to, and less cover-up bands than before. The difficulty curve, however, sucks. Easy is too easy and Hard feels like you’re playing the songs on fast-forward. Or maybe I’m still an amateur. And to all of those people who say “Extreme isn’t that hard!” then you either have eight arms or a pet tarantula you’ve trained to play for you. The music rocks, though, and I give this game:
400 out of 500 HP